DieselBenz's Car Break In Story - America's Dumbest Criminals
I submitted this story to America's Dumbest Criminals, and they said they wanted to come and interview me for $500, unfortunately, I was out of the country when they wanted to interview me. Oh well. Here it is:
It was a cold snowy day as I took my girlfriend to the supermarket. There was this kid in my neighborhood, Joseph Gubler, who was freezing outside the supermarket and told me that he has been waiting for two hours for a ride home. He begged me for a ride home. He was a "punk", but, I thought "okay". I was friends with his older brother, and his younger brother was friends with my younger brother, his parents were either my scout leaders or Sunday school teachers, so I though it would be fine. So I give him a ride home, and on the way home he's all "Oh wow... nice car, nice CD player, nice sub woofers, " I thought 'humm....augh crap'. If I was going to make a friend in the neighborhood, I might as well make a friend with a punk wanna be criminal. When he's bashing car windows, he may pass over mine because of my kindness, right??? Well, as I take him home, he asks me to drop him off at another house, a few houses away from his house. The next morning (~5:15 AM), I get up and go to my car to put my books in and stuff, and I notice something different. My stereo 'almost' gone, (my center console was slashed into while attempting to get the stereo), my sub woofers are gone, my jockey box have been knifed into (the criminal couldn't figure out how to just slide it 1/2" in either direction to open it) and a few other items are gone. My car was inside my garage, so the criminal broke into garage and opened my car. So I go outside, and if you remember from the beginning, it was snowing the day before and a little that night. And there were clean fresh footprints leading from the back door to my garage, RIGHT to the back door to the house in which he told me to drop him off at... Humm... Gee, can you think of who would it is? Well, it's about 5:30 and my friendly neighbor (who is a police) was just getting home from his route. I went over to him and told him what was up. Well, he pulled out his radio and in a few minutes, a cop was at my house in order to get from me a nice 3"X5" card of his description, name and address, and phone number. When the cops got to his house (not the house I dropped him off at) They found him, but no stuff. dang. So they surrounded the other house, the house that the foot prints went directly from my back door to their back door and lo-and-behold, there was thousands and thousands of dollars worth of stereos, speakers, and electronics in that house. And a pillowcase of all my stuff. Nailed the stupid sucker, and the little neighborhood crime ring before they even thought about waking up to watch their Jerry Springer and to have their morning beer. Sweetness -eh? His parents said they weren't going to bail him out time time, because now he was steeling from their friends. He later wrote me a letter from the detention center, (gee is that a requirement?) saying "Sorry, I guess that wasn't a very nice way to say thanks for giving me a ride home."
Occasionally I fly by him in my Mercedes-Benz as as he's being all cooler than the rest of us, being in his mid-twenties, living with his parents, struttin' up and down the street (to catch the public transit; no car) who says crime doesn't pay?